Diary Page 2 :: Start of journey

 

My quest led me to a statement that “ whatever you are looking for its inside not outside. Have a quest and drop it.” I could not understand what exactly it meant. Inside.... have quest.... drop it. What exactly does inside means? Where inside?
And biggest question how to look inside? What part of body to look at ?

May be heart!! It has feelings hence answers must be here. May be brain!! It stores information. May be blood it transfers stuff. So

where to look at. Time had passed. I am still thinking where to look at. I was not even able to look. All i could do was to imagine myself whole from outside while keeping eyes closed. I am wandering here and there. Not restless, more restless now than I was even before i knew that something exist.

Then I meet someone and he tells me to look inside. Just inside without defining it. But how to look. He gave me special spectacles or binoculars through which I could start looking inside. That special stuff was Meditation.

Meditation were my binoculars to go inside. To go deeper inside and search things. Still I was not sure how to use this tool properly. Where to concentrate and how to concentrate. But my tool was not Meditation it was Samadhi. With regular practice of Samadhi I started getting knowledge or may be information from somewhere. I am yet not sure that somewhere is where? Its like a hotline that I might get connected sometimes and I get some information that I was looking for.

Now I could relate to sentence that “Have a quest and drop it.” I did have a quest and I dropped it in universe. Then went into my silence because the hotline gets connected only in silence. I am not in silence whole day but at least when I was in Samadhi I went into silence and sometimes I would get answers in Samadhi. With regular practice even at times when i am not practicing Samadhi I am able to go into silence. All this I am able to do is with help and guidance of some of my teachers. My graphology teacher who introduced me to the world other than the world I lived in. My Siddha Samadhi Yog teacher who helped me get my body ready to connect to the hotline. And finally the teacher who taught me Samadhi and later went on to help me get my answers.

Journey started with graphology class. I feel so lucky that one day I read an article in newspaper and decided to learn this art. I was learning it for fun, so that I could read others but later I realized that it was for me. I was about to know myself, to read myself.

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